It's been a month now I have not written anything. Yes, I was busy. Buried myself into the work. Visited home for a weekend and then another weekend spent in fruitless interview. But hope is the tight rope on which I walk. Work is challenging, sometimes boring, sometimes monotonous and sometimes interesting. It is as complex as a critique on a poem written by another poet. You never know what is the objective. Is it written so that reader can understand and appreciate the poem or will get more confused and will say, "hey man, the poet wants to express this through these lines but has written totally irrelevant to highlight the irrelevance in the life of the common man which is symbolized by the crow sitting on the branch of a banyan tree on the banks of a river. Now why Banyan tree and that also specifically on the river bank. Here lies the intensity of the portrayal of the life in this world......................................................".
The point was complexity and nothing more and nothing less.
Rest of the things are moving on with the usual pace. When I am not working I think of them. Then I become sad. These days I am entering into a shell whenever such an emotion grips me. I should not do so. I should fight. But that is not happening. I have to find a solution. Hope is the tight rope walk. I am not able to concentrate on my daily reading routine usually before going to sleep on my bed. I open the book and thoughts surround me. I start grand Soliloquies which I know for sure will never come out of my mouth in front of her. But I cant manage to resist the temptation.
Whoever is going to read this, keep two things in mind:
There are very few people in this world who think about us 24 hours a day. And in such a short life the probability of finding one is very low. So don't miss the second chance if you have already missed one.
Thing no 2: This is my personal opinion but may be worth giving a thought.
I won't be sad if nobody remembers the moment I spent with him/her in their life. But I dont want anybody to remember me as a person who just used him/her for my own sake and then kicked out the relationship. I am certain that I dont want anybody to remember me like this ever. And I would be extremely satisfied if there will be no such person cursing me when I am lying on my deathbed for my selfishness, and at that moment I will not give a damn if there will be nobody in this world who will even bother to stretch his/her memory to think who the hail was this santa.
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